THE RINK REPORT

Serving Stats & Spilling Tea

L12 • Edmonton Polycule Truthers Volume 1 Season 2026-27
On This Day
← Back to This Season WEEK 1 Sep 29 to Oct 4, 2026
The Tea

Goalies Were Right About Everything

Nine goalies in the top ten. Four goalies off the wire in 20 minutes. One rule change by Monday.

The Matchups

Colorado Scuba Club (260.3) def. May the Fors(berg) be with you (240.5)

Going into Sunday, Liv was up 20.6. The kind of lead you stop checking.

Then CSC won Sunday 55.5 to 15.1.

Igor Shesterkin led the whole league with 44.0, on 71 saves and two wins. John Gibson added 20.3, Sebastian Aho scored three goals for 20.0, and Nathan MacKinnon put up 18.5 in just two games.

Liv's goalies were excellent. Yaroslav Askarov, a Wednesday pickup, scored 34.9. Jakub Dobes had 29.6 and Karel Vejmelka 27.6 with a shutout. MacKenzie Weegar threw 15 hits and blocked 10 shots.

Goalies made up 44% of Liv's points, the most in the league.

Verdict: Never check out on a Saturday night.

John Tavares' Magic Amulet (241.1) def. Dude, Where's Makar? (209.6)

Heather's goalies carried it: Jesper Wallstedt 31.9, Jet Greaves 27.9. Dylan Guenther added 23.5 with three goals and five power-play points, and Cutter Gauthier chipped in 20.0.

The amulet himself, John Tavares, contributed 10.5.

Kaitlyn had real answers. Joey Daccord scored 37.4, Nick Schmaltz scored four goals for 21.0, and Makar, of the team name, was found: 10.5 points.

Verdict: The amulet works. Further study needed.

Pop That Bussi (211.7) def. Keller? I hardly know her (167.5)

Evan Bouchard scored 23 points on opening night, hat trick included, and finished at 33.0. The best skater in the league this week.

After day one, Anna led 36.0 to 18.7. After day six, she did not.

Ashley L.'s namesake showed up. Brandon Bussi delivered 20.7, Mackenzie Blackwood added 34.5, and Mikhail Sergachev and Macklin Celebrini combined for 33.5.

Anna's namesake did his part too. Clayton Keller had five assists for 17.0, and Andrei Vasilevskiy added 23.5. But goalies were only 14% of her points, the lowest share in the league, in the week goalies ran everything.

Verdict: One man's hat trick is not a business plan.

Honorable Mentions

Sorokin Deez Nutz (288.7) def. Freezing My Kucherov (231.3). House rules, so this stays short. Alexius ran into the week's high score with great goalies anyway: Jeremy Swayman scored 43.1 with a shutout, and Joseph Woll made 78 saves for 41.2. Elias Pettersson threw 19 hits, which is a lot of hitting for a center.

like breadard and butter (206.6) def. Flickin' the Bean (151.1). Going into Saturday, it was 90.1 to 89.3. Then Caitlynn put up 92.0, the biggest single day any team had all week. Filip Hronek blocked 17 shots for 23.0, Leon Draisaitl scored three goals, and Sergei Bobrovsky added 21.7. Connor Hellebuyck scored zero because he never got a start. He's fine. He's resting.

Team of the Week

Colorado Scuba Club. Down 20.6 with one day left, they won Sunday by 40.4 and had the league's top scorer. A strong week for the commissioner's office.

Coldest Team of the Week

Flickin' the Bean. Catarina opened with 4.5 points, then clawed back to within a point by Friday. That part matters.

Charlie McAvoy sat in the lineup three times without playing, which nobody can plan around. Dustin Wolf (19.9) and Anthony Stolarz (17.7) kept it close. Saturday just had other plans.

Transactions & Trades

The Goalie Rush

No trades. Everyone is still getting to know each other.

On Wednesday evening, four goalies left the waiver wire in 20 minutes: Sergei Murashov, Kevin Lankinen, Dustin Wolf and Yaroslav Askarov. Askarov paid off right away with 34.9. Nobody coordinated this. Everyone just read the same scoring settings.

CSC added Ivan Barbashev and dropped him two days later, then swapped Carter Verhaeghe for Vasily Podkolzin.

lbnb dropped Jared McCann for Bobrovsky. Six days later, PTB picked McCann up. Nothing is ever really gone in this league.

KHKH added Luca Cagnoni and dropped Trevor Moore, who had just scored 5.5 in his only game.

FMK added Evgeni Malkin and Sean Walker. FIL's Nikita Zadorov pickup paid 13.5. FTB added two goalies, Jacob Markstrom and Wolf.

JTMA and DWM made zero moves. The Monk award has early candidates.

League office note: Monday the league added Goals Against at -0.3, and ESPN applied it back to Week 1. No results changed.

Translation: The league saw the goalie numbers and acted accordingly.

League Landscape Week One

It's week one. Nothing is decided and everything feels decided.

East: Sorokin Deez Nutz, Colorado Scuba Club and like breadard and butter are 1-0. FIL and FTB are 0-1, though FIL's 240.5 would have beaten six of the other nine teams.

West: JTMA and PTB are 1-0. FMK, DWM and KHKH are 0-1, and FMK's 231.3 would have beaten five.

Moral of the Week

Goalie scoring was a strategy on draft day and a rule change by Monday. The standings kept the receipts either way.

Haiku of the Week

Seventy-one saves
the league office took a note
goals against now count

Standings

East Division
Sorokin Deez Nutz 1-0-0
Colorado Scuba Club 1-0-0
like breadard and butter 1-0-0
May the Fors(berg) be with you 0-1-0
Flickin' the Bean 0-1-0
West Division
John Tavares' Magic Amulet 1-0-0
Pop That Bussi 1-0-0
Freezing My Kucherov 0-1-0
Dude, Where's Makar? 0-1-0
Keller? I hardly know her 0-1-0