The Tea
Quiet Weeks Still Count
Week 12 landed in that strange space between holidays where time isn't real, lineups are set half-awake, and yet the standings absolutely kept receipts. Scores were modest, margins mattered, and a few teams took advantage while others drifted straight through the week like it didn't exist.
By Nina Rivera • Staff Writer
The Matchups
Don't Trust Aho (90.0) def. Candy Canes for Hurricanes (77.0)
This matchup mattered, and Don't Trust Aho treated it accordingly.
The edge came from depth and timing. Jordan Eberle quietly led the way with 11.1 points, including four goals, while Darren Raddysh (7.1) and Macklin Celebrini (6.6) chipped in steady production. Steady across lines, because overall, goalies only contributed 4 points.
Candy Canes got solid contributions from Evan Bouchard (10.1), Dylan Larkin (6.3), and Quinton Byfield (6.1), but the scoring dropped off quickly after that. Once the weekend rolled around, the gap widened quietly and stayed there.
Verdict: This wasn't a blowout; it was a slow squeeze. Don't Trust Aho never panicked and never let the door back open.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Hertl (54.7) def. The Spoked Bae (26.9)
The score tells most of the story here, but the details make it sting.
TMNH didn't post a huge total, but they stacked enough volume to stay in control all week. Nikita Kucherov led with 12 points, while Justin Brazeau (8.2) and Ivan Barbeshev (5.2) provided steady secondary scoring. Nothing flashy, just consistent output across multiple roster spots.
The Spoked Bae, meanwhile, ran into a nightmare combination of low scoring and rough goaltending. Conner Hellebuyck with a brutal -4.0 points, and when a single mid-tier skater outscores your goalie, there's not much runway left.
Verdict: This wasn't about dominance; it was about survival. TMNH showed up. The Spoked Bae never got off the tarmac.
Smashville Puckheads (67.5) def. Stay in the Net (50.0)
This was a quietly well-played matchup by Smashville.
The scoring didn't hinge on one hero, which is exactly why it worked. Juraj Slafkovský led the way with 9.4 points, putting up 3 goals and 2 assists on just two games, while William Nylander followed closely with 8.9 points of his own. That top-end production gave Smashville an early cushion, but it didn't stop there.
Secondary contributions mattered. Chandler Stephenson (5.7), Nico Hischier (5.0), and William Eklund (5.0) all chipped in, turning what could've been a narrow race into a steady pull-away. Even without goalies, Smashville stacked shots, assists, and power-play points across the roster and never let the matchup swing back.
Stay in the Net wasn't disastrous, but they couldn't match the balance. A few solid performances, including Lucas Raymond's 4 assists (5.9 points), weren't enough to overcome the gap once Smashville's depth kicked in.
Verdict: This was roster construction doing its job. Smashville didn't need chaos, they needed everyone to do a little, and that's exactly what happened.
Honorable Mentions (a.k.a. Games That Still Mattered)
Net Results over Panarin Bread: Efficient, professional, and done without fuss.
My Little Kraklings: Still very good. Still not slowing down. Still terrifying.
Team of the Week
Smashville Puckheads — This one's about context. Smashville didn't post a monster score, but they showed up, avoided mistakes, and grabbed a clean win while other teams drifted. In a week where chaos was low, competence stood out. That counts.
Coldest Team of the Week
The Spoked Bae — It was a tough one. Low output, no momentum, and nowhere to hide in the box score. We've all had weeks like this. Unfortunately, this one came with witnesses.
Transactions & Trades Report
Week 12 was not quiet on the transaction front, even if it was quiet in the press room.
The headline move was a defense-for-defense trade between Hughes Your Daddy and McDaddy Issues, with Noah Hanifin heading one way and Radko Gudas the other. The deal was accepted, processed, and completed with efficiency. Requests for comment were made. None were returned. We respect the silence.
Beyond the trade, the waiver wire stayed busy all week. Tkachuk Around and Find Out was particularly active, cycling through multiple defensemen and forwards in search of the right mix. Don't Trust Aho made a notable blue-line upgrade, swapping Dylan DeMelo for Brandon Montour. My Little Kraklings continued to tinker, making several adds and drops as they fine-tuned an already strong roster. DeMan DeSmith DeLegend also stayed active, rotating depth pieces and clearly treating this week as an opportunity to reset.
Elsewhere, Smashville Puckheads dipped into free agency, and Net Results made the bold decision to move on from Stuart Skinner, a reminder that even established names are not immune when results don't follow.
No statements were issued. No quotes were provided. The moves speak for themselves.
League Landscape After Week 12
After twelve weeks, the league is no longer pretending everything is wide open.
At the top overall, My Little Kraklings continue to set the pace at 10–2. They've built real separation now, not just a one-week cushion, and are starting to look like the team everyone else is measuring themselves against. They aren't winning with chaos or spikes, just steady production that keeps adding up.
Right behind them is a tightly packed group at 8–4 and 9–3 that's doing a lot of jockeying without much room for error. This is where one quiet week suddenly matters, and Week 12 made that clear.
In the East, Tkachuk Around and Find Out still sits on top at 9–3, but the lead feels less comfortable than it did a few weeks ago. Don't Trust Aho, Net Results, Smashville Puckheads, and The Em-VPs are all right there at 8–4, creating a division where no one can afford to coast. Any one of these teams could be leading the East by New Year's with the right week.
The West is a little more stratified. Candy Canes for Hurricanes and McDaddy Issues are holding firm near the top, while Teenage Mutant Ninja Hertl continues to hang around the playoff line at 7–5, very much alive and capable of making things uncomfortable. There's separation here, but not safety.
Further down the standings, the pressure is building. Stay in the Net and Strome Alone are hovering around .500, close enough to stay hopeful but far enough to feel every loss. Below them, Papi's Princesses, Delaney's Daring Team, Panarin Bread, and The Spoked Bae are running out of margin. Wins still help, but the path forward is getting narrower by the week.
The picture after Week 12 is clearer than it's been all season: contenders are establishing themselves, the middle is volatile, and the bottom half is officially fighting the calendar as much as each other.
Moral of the Week
You don't need a huge score to change the standings, but you do need to show up. Weeks like this reward attention and punish autopilot, even when it feels like nothing is happening.
Haiku of the Week
Holiday fog lingers
No blowouts, just quiet math
Wins still count the same
Current Standings
East Division
Tkachuk Around and Find Out
9-3-0
Don't Trust Aho
8-4-0
Net Results
8-4-0
Smashville Puckheads
8-4-0
The Em-VPs
8-4-0
DeMan DeSmith DeLegend
7-5-0
What's Dunn is Dunn
7-5-0
The Spoked Bae
3-9-0
Papi's Princesses
2-10-0
Delaney's Daring Team
2-10-0
West Division
My Little Kraklings
10-2-0
Candy Canes for Hurricanes
8-4-0
McDaddy Issues
8-4-0
Teenage Mutant Ninja Hertl
7-5-0
Stay in the Net
6-6-0
Strome Alone
6-6-0
Lachimolala
5-7-0
Hughes Your Daddy
3-9-0
Nose Face Killah Crew
3-9-0
Panarin Bread
2-10-0