The Tea
Loud Wins, Quiet Progress, and One Team Choosing Violence
The calendar flipped, the standings didn't take the hint, and Week 13 arrived with a mix of blowouts, near-respectable losses, and at least one team reminding us all that mercy is optional. If Week 12 was about easing into the new year, Week 13 was about snapping everyone back to attention.
By Nina Rivera • Staff Writer
The Matchups
Don't Trust Aho (148.0) def. Nose Face Killah Crew (96.6)
This was not a game. This was a demonstration.
Don't Trust Aho dropped 148 points, the highest total of the week, and did it without relying on a single outlier performance. Sebastian Aho led the charge with 19.4 points (4 goals, 5 assists, 4 PPP, 16 shots), backed up by Darren Raddysh (15.6) and Macklin Celebrini (11.1). Seven skaters finished north of seven points, which is how you end a matchup before Sunday even feels meaningful.
NFCC wasn't terrible, they just ran into a buzzsaw. Brad Marchand (10.6) and Aaron Ekblad (10.4) showed up, but the gap was too wide and never closed.
Verdict: When your depth scores like a top line, the opponent's effort becomes academic.
Candy Canes for Hurricanes (128.9) def. Smashville Puckheads (120.0)
This was the week's best good loss.
Smashville put up 120 points, which would have beaten more than half the league, but Candy Canes simply refused to blink. Nikolaj Ehlers (13.4) and Dylan Strome (11.0) led a balanced attack, and Igor Shesterkin (10.6) quietly did his job without stealing the spotlight.
Smashville answered with Juraj Slafkovský (11.2), Erik Karlsson (9.3), and Luke Evangelista (9.2), keeping things tight all week and never letting the scoreline drift into "embarrassing loss" territory.
Verdict: Sometimes you play well and still lose. That doesn't make it a problem, it makes it January.
My Little Kraklings (102.7) def. Papi's Princesses (88.2)
Yes, this is a loss. No, it's still important.
Against the league's top team, Papi's Princesses put together one of their most complete weeks of the season. Auston Matthews (14.1) led the way, with Tyler Bertuzzi (11.9) and Nick Suzuki (10.6) forming a trio that finally looked synchronized.
Kraklings still did Kraklings things, Mark Stone (11.8) and Denton Mateychuk (9.2) among them, but this wasn't a rollover. Papi's made the favorite earn it.
Verdict: Not a win, but no longer background noise.
Team of the Week
Papi's Princesses — This isn't a charity award. It's a recognition of progress. They didn't win the matchup, but they showed structure, star production, and actual resistance against the league's best team. Matthews, Bertuzzi, and Suzuki all cleared double digits, and the roster finally looked intentional instead of hopeful. Translation: The basement door is no longer locked from the outside.
Coldest Team of the Week
Nose Face Killah Crew — This was less about mistakes and more about timing. NFCC ran into Don't Trust Aho on a week where everything clicked, and once the score climbed past triple digits, there was no realistic path back. There were respectable performances, but the matchup was over before they had a chance to matter. Sometimes you don't lose because you played badly. Sometimes you just get caught standing in front of the storm.
Transactions & Trades
The league stayed busy, but strategic, not frantic.
DeMan DeSmith DeLegend cycled depth pieces, adding Mathieu Olivier and Alex Steeves while continuing to tinker around the edges.
Tkachuk Around And Find Out adjusted on defense and forward depth, swapping in Dylan DeMelo and Andre Burakovsky.
Papi's Princesses added goalie depth with Dennis Hildeby and moved on from Victor Olofsson, signaling roster clarity rather than panic.
Candy Canes made quiet adds and drops, the kind contenders make without announcements.
No trades this week, and no official comments from teams. Which, frankly, feels correct.
League Landscape After Week 13
At the top, My Little Kraklings continue to set the pace in the West at 11-2, with Candy Canes for Hurricanes and McDaddy Issues both at 9-4 keeping pressure on. No one is running away with it, but the margin for error is shrinking.
The East is tighter. Tkachuk Around And Find Out holds the edge at 10-3, but Net Results and Don't Trust Aho are right there at 9-4, with Smashville, the Em-VPs, and DeMan DeSmith DeLegend all at 8-5, forming a crowded second tier that could reshuffle in a single bad week.
At the bottom, there's still daylight, but less of it. Papi's Princesses showed signs of life. Others are running out of "it's still early" energy.
Moral of the Week
January doesn't care about your excuses. Depth matters, consistency shows, and close losses are only useful if they turn into something better. The standings are tight enough now that every week quietly rewrites the story.
Haiku of the Week
Big numbers feel safe
Until someone scores more points
Nothing is settled
Current Standings
East Division
Tkachuk Around and Find Out
10-3-0
Net Results
9-4-0
Don't Trust Aho
9-4-0
Smashville Puckheads
8-5-0
The Em-VPs
8-5-0
DeMan DeSmith DeLegend
8-5-0
What's Dunn is Dunn
7-6-0
The Spoked Bae
3-10-0
Delaney's Daring Team
3-10-0
Papi's Princesses
2-11-0
West Division
My Little Kraklings
11-2-0
Candy Canes for Hurricanes
9-4-0
McDaddy Issues
9-4-0
Teenage Mutant Ninja Hertl
7-6-0
Strome Alone
7-6-0
Stay in the Net
7-6-0
Lachimolala
5-8-0
Hughes Your Daddy
3-10-0
Nose Face Killah Crew
3-10-0
Panarin Bread
2-11-0