The Tea
Tight Margins, Loud Decisions
Week 16 arrived with no warning and zero patience. This was a week of close scores, busy waiver tabs, and at least one manager refreshing the standings like it might apologize. The league is officially past vibes and into consequences. Everyone is watching everyone else now, which feels healthy and unhinged.
By Nina Rivera • Staff Writer
The Matchups
Candy Canes for Hurricanes (117.4) def. Net Results (111.5)
This was the best kind of stressful. Candy Canes for Hurricanes and Net Results entered the week tied at 11–5, and neither blinked. The margin stayed narrow all week, but Candy Canes got just enough lift from their top end to keep control.
Dylan Strome led Candy Canes with 13.7 points, while Evan Bouchard added 13.5 and Jack Eichel chipped in 9.1. It wasn't one explosion, it was consistent pressure. Net Results pushed back hard behind Andrei Vasilevskiy's 12.0, Tim Stützle's 9.6, and Thomas Chabot's 9.5, but the comeback never fully landed.
Verdict: A clean win in a matchup that absolutely counts later.
Don't Trust Aho (102.9) def. McDaddy Issues (97.1)
This one hurt because it was close and good. McDaddy Issues didn't stumble, they just ran into Don't Trust Aho on a week where the timing broke their way.
Mats Zuccarello did the heavy lifting with 12.0 points, Charlie McAvoy followed with 10.9, and rookie Beckett Sennecke surprised with 8.2. McDaddy Issues stayed competitive thanks to Cale Makar (9.4), Sam Bennett (7.1), and Tom Wilson (7.0), but Don't Trust Aho had more players cresting at the right moments.
Verdict: A narrow loss that still leaves a mark.
My Little Kraklings (114.3) def. Smashville Puckheads (84.9)
This was not dramatic, but it was definitive. The Kraklings reminded everyone why they're sitting at the top of the West by doing exactly what good teams do: producing everywhere without panic.
John Gibson posted a massive 15.2 points, Mark Stone added 12.2, and Dylan Guenther chipped in 7.9. Smashville had solid nights from Brandon Hagel (10.4) and Ryan O'Reilly (9.8), but too much of the roster cooled at once to keep pace.
Verdict: Calm authority, no theatrics required.
Honorable Mentions (a.k.a. Games That Still Mattered)
Strome Alone (101.4) over The Spoked Bae (67.6): A needed bounce-back for Strome Alone.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Hertl (102.1) vs. Tkachuk Around And Find Out (120.3): Not close, but notable given the standings.
Team of the Week
Candy Canes for Hurricanes earns it this week. They took down a direct standings rival, posted 117.4 points, and did it with balance rather than chaos. Dylan Strome and Evan Bouchard set the tone, but the roster never went quiet at the same time, which matters in January. This wasn't flashy. It was disciplined.
Coldest Team of the Week
The Spoked Bae struggled to generate traction and finished Week 16 on the wrong side of a wide margin, despite a few individual efforts trying to keep things respectable. The problem wasn't effort, it was timing: too many cold nights landing at once, and not enough overlap when it mattered. This wasn't a collapse, it was a stall. And in January, stalling is dangerous.
Transactions & Trades
The Trade Machine Stayed On
Week 16 featured real movement, not dabbling. McDaddy Issues was at the center of it, swinging multiple trades and reshaping depth with intention. Big names moved, value shifted, and several teams woke up midweek with rosters that felt new.
My Little Kraklings made notable swaps, including exchanging Darcy Kuemper and Yakov Trenin, signaling confidence rather than panic. Don't Trust Aho stayed selective, making targeted deals that quietly improved structure. Elsewhere, free-agent adds filled gaps, not egos.
Translation: No one sat still. That's the story.
League Landscape After Week 16
Overall, the standings are compressing. The top still exists, but the space underneath it is shrinking fast, and the middle is loud.
East: Tkachuk Around And Find Out remains steady at 13-3, but Don't Trust Aho (12-4) and Net Results (11-5) are close enough to make every matchup uncomfortable. DeMan DeSmith DeLegend matches Net Results at 11-5, and Smashville Puckheads (10-6) are still very much in the mix.
West: My Little Kraklings hold the top spot at 13-3, but Candy Canes for Hurricanes and McDaddy Issues are both at 11-5, close enough to matter. Stay in the Net, Strome Alone, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Hertl all hover at .500, one week away from relevance or regret.
Moral of the Week
This is the stretch where preparation beats vibes and depth quietly wins weeks. Close games matter more than blowouts, and the teams still making smart adjustments are usually the ones still standing later.
Haiku of the Week
Standings press inward
Everyone says "we're fine here"
No week is harmless
Current Standings
East Division
Tkachuk Around And Find Out
13-3-0
Don't Trust Aho
12-4-0
Net Results
11-5-0
DeMan DeSmith DeLegend
11-5-0
Smashville Puckheads
10-6-0
The Em-VPs
9-7-0
What's Dunn is Dunn
9-7-0
The Spoked Bae
4-12-0
Delaney's Daring Team
4-12-0
Papi's Princesses
2-14-0
West Division
My Little Kraklings
13-3-0
Candy Canes for Hurricanes
11-5-0
McDaddy Issues
11-5-0
Stay in the Net
8-8-0
Strome Alone
8-8-0
Teenage Mutant Ninja Hertl
8-8-0
Lachimolala
5-11-0
Hughes Your Daddy
4-12-0
Panarin Bread
4-12-0
Nose Face Killah Crew
3-13-0